Why I’m Reading My Way to a Better Me

Few people know this about me, but I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. As a child, I think I thought it was “normal” to wake up in the throes of a panic attack with the feeling that breath was eluding me.
And so, that anxiety that I felt, didn’t hinder me as badly as it does today. I can’t really think of a moment before middle school that my anxiety determined my actions and choices.
Nowadays, that is a totally different story….and it is beyond frustrating. That anxiety inevitably turns into a bout of depression about how crippled I am by anxiety and that depression turns into more anxiety about being depressed.
Quite the vicious cycle, if I say so myself. It’s taken a long time to get to a point in my life where I can recognize those signs and take steps to counteract them.
One of the biggest things I can do for myself is set goals and stick to them. If you could only see my lists and lists of goals. When I think back on them, I realize that there is a major underlying theme.
My goals always revolve around happiness, contentment and fearlessness. You see, anxiety and depression can be crippling. It makes you question everything you know about yourself. Your worth, your talents, your relationships.
So, I find myself coming back to those same goals, year after year. As redundant as it seems, it’s ok! It helps me stay focused on my mental health. A topic that is far to often overlooked and ignored.
This year, when contemplating my goals, I prayed a lot. I prayed for insight and guidance so that I could choose a resolution that would benefit me and those around me.
I settled on “fearlessness”! Circling back to the whole “anxiety is crippling” thing; my anxiety usually talks me out of things that would bring me joy and fulfillment.
I’m just really not okay with that anymore. The thing about it is, when you say “no” to yourself so often, you kind of forget how to say “yes.”
I decided I need to read up on it a bit (yep, I’m a research type of girl). I set a goal to read 12 books this year that will guide me on my path to fearlessness. Without further ado….
My 2018 Reading List to Fearlessness
1. Live Fearless: A Call to Power, Passion, and Purpose by Sadie Robertson
2. Get Your Sh*t Together: How to Stop Worrying About What You Should Do So You Can Finish What You Need to Do and Start Doing What You Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide) by Sarah Knight
3. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
4. 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works–A True Story by Dan Harris
5. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
6. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
7. Destination Simple by Brooke McAlary
8. I Am An Empath: Energy Healing Guide For Empathic And Highly Sensitive People by Joshua Moore
9. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown
10. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown
11. How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism by Stephen Guise

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